What it says on the tin. I have realized that, while I have over 200 LJ friends, a lot of them are dead journals, people who've transferred to Dreamwidth, twitter feeds only, and/or people who I don't even know (either personally or in fandom). And I'm finally getting around to a long overdue prune, because it's been kind of driving me nuts.

I've got a lot of new readers recently, so I'm sortof doing a half-assed generic welcome. Half-assed generic welcome to you all, from the front porch of a public library on Cape Cod! *waves*

Those who are here for fic reading may wish to weigh in on whether they want to be on the draft filter.

Off to Provincetown to experience The Gay. See you later!

<333

I'm repurposing the Five Leaves in Autumn filter as a general drafts filter. (No, this doesn't mean I'm officially abandoning Five Leaves. I just don't know. I know very little right now, only that I want a drafts filter. ~~And a pony.~~)

What is the drafts filter? Well, just that--a filter for raw drafts of fanfiction. Possibly very raw drafts.

Disclaimers: if you read fic only casually, or prefer polished work, please do not sign up for this. If you don't want to see bits and drabs and WIPs that may never ever actually be finished, however frustratingly so, don't sign up for this. If you don't want to run the risk of being hit up for commentary on something, don't sign up for this. Etcetera.

Requisite poll:

[Poll #1180493]

(For those concerned: my current emotional state: I don't even fucking know. Mostly trying desperately to move on. Going back and forth on the whole magic thing. Not going back and forth on the whole sex thing. Gazebo.)

(For those wondering: yes, I'm asking 'cause I'll probably make a post on said filter, like, tonight or tomorrow or something.)

Current Mood: cynical

The first line of each month meme:

January 2: Con attendance: I will be in at least partial attendance of both the Winter Fetish Flea and Arisia, and full attendance of Intercon (a while from now, admittedly.) In all cases yunatwilight will be with me, although at the FFF and Arisia she will be rather reclusive due to her job sucking donkey balls.

Cyn didn't go to the FFF, because at Arisia, she met ineffablewombat and spent the next week in bed having NRE; also at Arisia, I borrowed Caroline's boyfriend and had sexplay with a boy for about the first time. Then I went to the Flea alone, shopped up a storm, and had S&M with a boy for about the first time.

February 1: The radio silence does not mean I'm falling further apart. It just means I'm very busy with my first week at the new job, and the financial situation and Cyn's health are taking up the rest of my time and stressing me the fuck out.

It's, well, kinda humbling to realize how often I've fallen apart or gone into temporary reclusion this year. It feels like the first time each time. It's been a roller-coaster year, one of extremes.

March 2: Anybody here know their way around Hollywood social circles?

LARP-prep. I basically became a LARPer this year, after some earlier flirting with the concept in a very different format at Bennington.

April 1: I think I will be posting this fic in installments as I go. It's developing with fair speed, esp. considering how slow and painful writing is these days.

Point Alpha, a.k.a. my first serious post-year-long-block project. Really should finish that. -.-

May 1: A few random updatey splats before I run to work...

Work and Who-fandom; that was most of this spring. Good times, pretty much.

June 3: People who have had experiences with wisdom teeth coming in, either healthily or not, please advise! Have been having tooth pain; details below.

And then I had to get my wisdom teeth out, and then I think it was about a week afterwards that I was fired.

July 1: ...and that would be the third time this week I've been accused of sexual indiscretion, not even counting the Christian fellow I was talking with on the train on Friday.

That week was bad in a very unusual way. And this was before I started gathering up boyfriends from various LARPs.

August 4: Getting a GreatestJournal account - letterblade - and attempting to archive this journal in various ways, shapes, and forms. Hope I don't have to, but just in case, you know the drill.

And that scare. Still haven't bothered to fully move this journal; we'll see. I'll at least keep it up forever or until they bahlete me, but I'm toying with the idea of switching my primary updating to InsaneJournal.

September 7: So in my dream last night, I was talking with somebody--likely cktraveler--about random aspects of the Potterverse, and somehow, in dream logic, somebody was asking us what we thought the general computational ability of the wizarding world was. cktraveler asked, "in integer or floating point?"

Another theme this year which I didn't notice until doing this meme: intense, elaborate dreams. Sometimes visions, sometimes bizarre fandom theories, sometimes random psychology.

October 1: You know you're in FFX fandom when...

...your only comfort at your shitty stressful job is obsessively playing Nightwish as you commute and writing Lulu/Auron knifeplay smut in your head.

November 2: (I totally need a pimping icon!)

I think I've said that many times over the history of this journal. Still haven't gotten around it.

December 15: I was a slug-a-bed this morning trying to crawl back into a dream that I found so fascinating I had to think about it more:

More with the dreams recently. And the very active sex life. And the getting fired. And the horrible depressive jags. Up and down and up and down.

I considered doing the fanfiction review meme, or one of them, but decided it would be too sobering. My writerbrain has been too dead recently. And I didn't--well, it feels like I barely accomplished anything, which isn't entirely true, but still.

Here's hoping 2008 is less of a roller coaster and more of a good smooth ride.

Updated profile, did some work on my f-list (may have to cut soon; we'll see; should at least make a reading filter so I can keep up with my closest friends without getting drowned), updated sidebar...the usual. Haven't touched interests list yet; god is that out of date!

And should update journal, which I have not done in a very long time. And since then, have been to a wonderful housewarming party, heard one of the hottest girls in Camberville whisper horrible-wonderful things in my ear, been to another wonderful housewarming party, played the cloven fruit game with attendant excellent snogging, been in an absolutely kickin' LARP (in which I was the villain - mwahahaha, dearies!), had sex and friendship with a wonderful man (first ever), had my first real therapy session of my life, had sex and magic with another wonderful man...

Busy, I have been. LJ, I have not been much on. Phwee!

Projects of interest to some of you:

Personal fic archive: well on its way. Mostly just codeslogging now, and writing up notes, and looking into getting a domain for it (but maintaining hosting on my extant site, so as to avoid any possible screwiness with fanfiction pr0n). Wish to polish off one more fic for archiving, so as to start the site with a full deck of 52 fics.

Five Leaves in Autumn: er, starting soon! RLY!

Sire and Pup: on hold until done with Five Leaves, but not dead. Also, just so ya know, if Pup ever teams up with Jack, the world is doomed to a very happy death.

A project only about one person even knows of yet: have LARPbunny which is not intimidatingly huge (eight characters who should be both interesting and easy to write; scenario is complicated, but can deal, I think), and which I will be scaring up a beta test of when done with it.

Actually, while I'm doing inventory, here's one of my curren LARPbunnies, from oldest to newest:

untitled, code name of PGBDSM: fanlarp for Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon: about half anime superhero action game, half kinky sex farce. Circa 18 players, with only 4-6 requiring series knowledge.

Messiah: original, though I suppose you could call it a fanlarp for Bruno Schulz: highly surreal and abstract fantasy with a bizarre game system. Probably about 12 players.

The Treaty of Pallas: fanlarp for Vision of Escaflowne: high fantasy politics, bunny sustained by popular request. Circa 18 players, about half requiring series knowledge.

Sandglass: original: dark fantasy, my attempt at contributing to the Immortal Sociopaths tradition of breaking players. Probably about 12 players.

untitled, code name of The Train Game: original: modern world, no magic, just eight characters in a bizarre situation. Sonnect LARP (a form designed by my partner Cyn, the leader of the Sociopaths: eight PCs (four male, four female), no NPCs, PCs do not know each other well previous to game, game is two hours long.

...alsdkfjaldksjflakjdsfLATEFORWORKAHHH. *flees*

Quote from a much longer and more serious conversation last night.

Me: "Well, I only sortof have a messiah complex. I don't try to save the world, I just want to write porn for it."

Bwah! I have found [one of] my goals in life.

So last night I had much fantastic hanging out with

shadesong and one of the People Who Has Recently Left LJ, whom I think I shall refer to as El Cid. (Unless she smacks me for that.)

(Srsly though. I think the LJ governing planet[oid] went into retrograde recently. Or has been for a while.)

And also last night, in pursuit of my Greater Self, I reorganized my fanfiction folder. Mwahahaha! I reorganize stuff at you all! And also started putting fics into templates for my new fanfiction website, which is coming along nicely.

Someday, in pursuit of my Greater Self, I want to start taking martial arts. I am kindof held back, however, not just by finding cash and time, but because there are 2938748 schools thereof and 29348792384782375 studios and I have no way of knowing what is good or right for me.

Currently, in pursuit of my Greater Self, I am of course a pretentious twat. But.

The relevant bit: I have been thinking for a very long time of discarding most of the posting filters on this journal. Not the project filters (for the original pieces, for the Five Leaves draft), as those are there to protect bits of my creative work; and not the magic filter, as that is there to keep the woo-woo away from those who are not woo-woo inclined. This leaves the emo filter and the sex filter, which are the two filters that exist entirely for the protection of readers.

The emo filter--I'm just going to delete that one soon. This means that all my LJ-friends will have access to some of my old whining--go, eye-roll away! I actually used it only a very few times. I intend not to emo on LJ much more in the future, so it really has little effect except making semi-public a few embarassing posts. Meh! If I do wind up emoing, it will probably be friends-locked, and it will certainly be cut, and you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

The sex filter. That was always a dicey one. Because I like posting random comments about my sex life (when I have one), and sometimes full scene reports, and while occasionally these are intense or personal enough that I wish to friendslock them, I have absolutely no privacy boundaries that make me want to filter them further.

In other words, I don't give a shit who reads my sex posts. I have indeed aspired to be a sexblogger in the past.

Obviously, though, some of you may not wish to read them. I hope I do not sound too bitchy when I say--that's your choice. If I post something you do not want to read, then don't read it! You are all adults, and I don't think I need to censor myself for your sakes.

So, in the future, posts that would previously have been on the sexfilter will be public or maaaybe f-locked and labelled as such. (And I know I've sometimes not fully indicated that a cut led to a sex post. I will be more careful about that. I'm going to be trying in general to keep not-work-safe stuff cut and labelled, because I've heard people say that they can't have my journal on their work reading list, and that makes me both amused and kinda sad.)

Unless, y'know, there is outcry. If there is outcry, I retain the sex filter.

This leaves only one opt-in non-project-specific filter on this journal: the magic filter. It's been a while since I fully filter-surveyed my f-list. (I like hyphens!) If any of you want to know the woo-woo, please let me know!

I am writing Five Leaves for

tardis_bigbang, and I think I've pretty much settled on posting first draft chapters, as I write, to filter. Complete edited fic will go public when the Big Bang ends, which I think is sometime next summer. May decide to post edited chapters to entire f-list, locked, when they're available.

Five Leaves in Autumn is a Torchwood/Utena crossover--basically using Snakedance to incorporate the Utena world into the Whoverse and using the Utena tropes of psycho-symbolic character torture to fold, spindle, mutilate, and utterly melt the Torchwood staff. While most Utena characters do appear, and some take fairly major roles, the character focus is almost entirely on the five Torchwood regulars.

Five Leaves takes place between episodes 11 and 12 of the first season of Torchwood, assumes knowledge of the series up until that point, and will spoil it up until that point, along with possibly bits of episodes 9-13 of the first season of the new Doctor Who and the Fifth Doctor serial "Snakedance" from the classic Doctor Who. The second season of Torchwood will be coming out as I am writing it; I may or may not get jossed, and if I do, I may or may not alter the fic to comply with new canon. That much is entirely unpredictable.

Five Leaves takes place about ten years after the end of Revolutionary Girl Utena, and while it does thoroughly spoil the series, I am attempting to make it so that Utena canon knowledge is not necessary, as I'm quite aware that your average Torchwood fan-reader is not going to be literate in semi-obscure artsy anime. I admit that I may not succeed in this attempt. I also admit that I hope this fic inspires people to go watch the series; it's brilliant.

Five Leaves will be rated a very hard R, and may slide into NC-17. I am endeavoring to keep the various sex acts (of all gender combinations and widely varying degrees of consent) not entirely graphic, but again, I may not succeed.

Five Leaves is dark, fucky, surreal, has recurring themes (as does Utena) of incest and child abuse and shall be trigger-warned accordingly, has been breaking my brain ever since I first conceived it, owes a fair debt to my fiance

cktraveler and her excellent Utena LARP Still Places, does not Gwen (or anyone else) bash or sanctify, will be betaed by

mllelaurel, and will be thirteen chapters long.

I am of course willing to have viewings of all relevant canon for local friends who are interested.

You're automatically on the filter if you're a) an RL friend of mine who I know is familiar with both Torchwood and Utena or b) somebody who's expressed interest in the fic that I recall. Currently that's

cktraveler,

mllelaurel,

nevacaruso,

mirrored_echo (you need to see the rest of Torchwood, IIRC, but that could be arranged, and there should be nothing hugely spoilerific or canonlit-requiring in the first parts of the fic),

x_bluerose_x, and

cat_latin. And I apologize if more of you fall into the B category; I have a mind like a steel sieve.

Anyone else?

Background: Okay, so, a while back somebody started fellytone_fic, which was a community for people to record and post themselves reading alout HP fanfiction. To which I said coolness!, except it was HP-only and I'm multi-fandom. And then there is Simon, and he will--completely gratutiously!--give him a shirtless scene in Objects in Space, because (and if you listen to the commentary--very good commentary on that ep!--he'll say approximately this) he's a beautiful person and he wants to run from it, or run through it forever, not sure which, just that his suit's fitting properly again, and Jack's helpless body is spasming in the chains, Jack's scream is muffled in his mouth, but he rinses with souring wine anyway, obsessively, until even the twisting chaos of his subconscious could not pretend it was there--ashes and blood. Was that what they'd tasted, all those women?
Bone-chilling terror, he thinks, with an abstract and bitter distance, has become an everyday thing. He barely notices the trembles in his hands, the face of the internet again, and I apologize. :/ Will try to climb back up; I think belated comment responses are in order. Except first I have the problem of finding an untouched bit of skin. I feel like I should answer less, because I've spent so much time writer's blocked, and most of my private time contemplating whether my writer's block is nearly gone and playing FFX. Because, yes, Cyn got me playing console games. Saddle up the pale horse! Or, actually, I've been playing for a while. I came back to life as a human. That girl's not even a yard yet. Blocking, perhaps?
266 / 1,046(25.4%)

Edit from the actual writer in this journal...

I JUST MADE SIX APART'S CODE WRITE GAY PORN! SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!

(For those who haven't seen this yet, this is a new LJ toy that strings together bits of your public posts to create a new one. I set it full to the non-sensical side, and behold, porn! Now if only it was underaged...)

So last night I played my solo character prelude to

yunatwilight's Urban Arcana game, in which poor Rudy was played like an accordion for about two hours, and I had a lot of fun. Looks to be an extreeeeeeeemely interesting game, just in case any of you folks who are playing were wondering. XD

So, since all my friends are jumping over a cliff, I am considering doing Blogathon. Now, I don't have much interesting to say on my own, so I am probably going to do it with some sort of interesting, donation-encouraging gimmick. (For example,

yunatwilight has this elaborate scheme rewarding donations with naked pictures of various friends and girlfriends, including, of course, yours truly.)

Here's my thought: twenty-four hours of challenge ficlets, porn by request, and so forth. Now it may get a little, ah, noodly in the early morning, or be broken up to chunks if it takes me longer than half an hour to write, but still. You donate money to charity, you make me write something. (I'm probably not going to bother keeping track; this is roughly honor system.) Prompt in whatever form you wish, just bearing in mind that it will have to be short and quickly written; fandoms will be anything that I know well enough and even vaguely feel like writing in (Who/Torchwood, PGSM, FMA, Utena, Bebop, Myst, probably more); I draw bestiality, scat, necro, and porn in the Myst fandom as hard limits. Does this appeal?

I will most likely be blogging for Heifer Project, as they are my pet (no pun intended) global charity; there's a chance I may change that for a local community charity, though it's fairly unlikely, as I know most of my friends are going local, and I really like what Heifer Project does.

About time I switched back to something more 'me.' Resurrection of an old layout. Was getting sick of juniper berries.

Also, must see how this icon looks on it.

I am more and more feeling--as I become more involved in both the Bostonpoly and the Whofandom communities--that I should keep seperate fandom and personal journals.

Haven't decided yet.

SHOUTOUT TO BENNINGTON PEOPLE:

Who's going to be around for graduation? Will probably be coming up, but if nobody's going to be there, this may influence how long I'm coming up and who I'm bringing with me.

If you aren't planning on it or haven't decided yet, I really seriously pimp staying for graduation. You get an extra day to pack! It rocks. Don't know what the current procedure is though; they kept changing it on me.

Re the seperating journals matter: Okay, yeah, you guys very much talked me out of it. *hides under blanket* I'll still try to update more though!

Christmas present from

yunatwilight's parents: Advent Children. Now get to watch it second time and attempt to figure out WTF is going on. Reno and Kadaj are both sexy, sexy bitches. Vincent's entrance (especially as I remember it on a better screen than my old flatscreen monitor) is a prime demonstration of high color depth in CGI. Mmmmm, RED.

I'm writing! And, like, continuing to write! And actually constantly thinking about writing! SQUEE! The result of said writing, the Shitennou multiplication table, is up to ten ficlets out of fifteen, and I'll probably be adding more tonight (after I go take out 928374928347 tons of trash), for those few, if any, of you who're PGSM-literate.

...

...this writing thing is seriously boggling me. Right. The Tory needs more food and less trash. Off to work.

Non-fandom people: Do my fandom posts--the random squees and rambles, the fic, and so forth--annoy you or put you off my journal?

Fandom people: Do my non-fandom posts--the (admittedly rare) RL updates, personal rambles, angst, and so forth--annoy you or put you off my journal?

I am, for the first time, seriously considering splitting this journal into two: one (this one; it's too connected not to) mainly public for fic and so I can be as much of a giggly fantwat as I want without bothering the grown-ups; and one (a new account), probably at least half f-locked or filtered, for the RL and personal posts, which would also contain all the things I currently filter in this journal (sex, magic, angst, original fiction), so those here for my fic don't have to deal with them.

It would up the posting load (although in the end that's a good thing; I'm not updating nearly consistently enough), and I've always liked having just one journal, but...it's beginning to feel necessary.

First the family news: I have a niece!! One of my elder brothers finally (he's eighteen years older than me, so finally is warranted, at least as far as my mother is concerned) spawned! And she's an adorable baby (as far as babies go, I think, I'm no judge), and has utterly wonderful parents who *should* be passing on their genes, and...and...

I'm an aunt? WTF?

Well. Now that I'm an auntie, I need an utterly unrelated new filter! Because I know that, just as with my sex life, there are some of you who probably don't believe what I'm up to is particularly respectable and might think I'm pretty nuts for doing it. So, poll time!

[Poll #873450]

For those of you new to my journal, my other filters are the sex filter, for TMI, the emo filter, for whining and angst, and the wintering filter, for an original novel I've been posting (when I'm not blocked; been a while since I worked on it). Any current or former partner is by default on the sex filter, and anyone else can opt in; the others are entirely opt-in.

Current Mood: chipper

For those of you on my sex filter, I've [finally; there's been a lot of new stuff between now and then] updated my BDSM negotiation chart to reflect some recent, ah, activities.

For you recent additions who aren't on my sex filter

(including some wildly interesting people who've friended me out of the blue--hello

bastardlady and

sheerchaos!--and not so out of the blue--hello

beetiger,

tashiro, and

valaxa!--and I still have more people to go through despite having not udpated this journal in forever, wtf--)

please let me know if you'd wish to be on it. The same applies to my other two filters, the emo one for intensely personal angst posts, and the wintering one for updates of my original novel, but seeing as I'm both relatively healthy and writer's blocked as of late, those are highly unlikely to be relevant any time soon.

Edit: on a somewhat related note, have finally updated my userinfo and such. Ah, productivity!

Doubt it will carry through to updated my OKCupid account and reposting the rest of my FMA fic on Skyehawke, though, and those are the next two internet-productivity-priorities.

Upon torrenting a copy of the second season of classic Trek...yeah, it had to be done. Intended use: commenting on pictures of people's cats.

I really should write a proper update someday. Life is good atm, not to worry--very good--just swimmy and imposing to write about. I exist, and well, and things are looking up.

Breaking in the sex filter. Should do some journal-organizing, make and user-info-link a post specifically for requesting to be on filters, that sort of thing. Also realizing that my tag system sucks. But lazy. And currently sleepy, and in need of a shower.

I have an abrupt and disturbingly intense urge to go down to CVS and girlieshop. o.@

By girlieshop I mean, like, nail polish, makeup, facial cleanser...actually, I really need a facial cleanser...

THE ESTROGEN, IT BURNS. D:

And, also, by "going down to CVS" I mean "walking two miles both ways because parents aren't home." That's just how intense this urge is. And it should also be noted that I really shouldn't spend the money...but since when has that stopped me?

*sigh*

While I am attempting, probably in vain, to fight this urge, and to find my iPod, I leave you with a poll, as I am quite seriously considering sprouting two more filters for this LJ, one for the emo posts (y'know, the sort that get the Shinji icon) so those who don't wish to don't have to be spammed with them (though if the past week is any indication, they shall be decreasing), and one for the sex and tmi related posts so those who don't wish to don't have to be squicked. (Note that my fandom pr0n and other posts with sexual content that doesn't relate to me will still be public; most people who swing by my journal are probably looking for that. This is just for posts related to my sex life, so that people who don't want to know don't have to.)

I'm automatically putting anybody I've slept with or flirted heavily with on the latter. I'm not automatically putting anybody on the former.

Also, since it's been quite a while since I posted about this, I'll add a question for my one extant filter--if you're new and you want to see any posts (such as they are, #*$&*$#& writer's block) of Teh Novel, click away.

And feel free to ask me more about any of these if you're confused or just want more info. And I will not take a no on any of these as an insult. :)

[Poll #700490]

Now what I really need to write up is the post on how I suddenly have A Life and how exciting it all is...but I'm too busy having a life to do so. -.-;;;;;

So I've been wondering for quite some time just how it was humanly possible for

celes_grant to be so darn sweet. Seriously--one of the nicest, most good-natured people I know, online or off. But then the fiendslist handed the answer to me on a silver platter: she was born on Valentine's day. Explains everything!

So, like a woman possessed I grabbed a notebook...

( HAPPY BIRTHDAY )

The other sweetie? The one who just sent me the LJ valentine. I'm stunned, I'm boggled, I'm melted into a little gooshy mess. I suppose I'm somewhat like Odo--I maintain a gruff, unsentimental form most of the time, but every sixteen...well, long than hours with me, more like days or months...I have to revert to a primal mushy state, preferably in a bucket. Only this time on my userinfo page. Thank you so much, whoever you are! It made my day!

Edit: fixed the typo in the subject line, grah. Also, I can make no promises because of the damnable block, but would the LJ sweetie like me to attempt a drabble of some sort?

Current Mood: mushy

To match the GIP. But I don't like it very much. :/

wired_lizard

Finally made an icon of myself from a picture newer than Mysterium '02 and which includes not one but both of my key features. XD

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Letterblade

I Write Stuff

Entries tagged with lj

Friendslistpruning

O HAI

Filter announcement

Looking back on 2007

LJ housekeeping

The actually relevant part of this post is at the bottom

Five Leaves in Autumn - Draft reading filter?

LiveJournal auto-post

I JUST MADE SIX APART'S CODE WRITE GAY PORN! SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!

Girlfriend neat, blogathon scary.

GLP.

Hrm.

SHOUTOUT TO BENNINGTON PEOPLE:

A few notes

Honesty time

New filter, family news

Horny filters.

GIP.

...wtf, estrogen?

In honor of two sweeties...

GLP.

We're gonna GIP (unh) around (unh) the clock!

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June 2020