Letterblade

THIS RUN OF STARS OVER ATLANTIS IS FUCKING CURSED. At this point, the BEST I can expect is that half the players DON'T EVEN FUCKING SHOW UP AND THE OTHER HALF LYNCH US AND THEN PLAY VAMPIRE: THE MASQUERADE OVER OUR TWITCHING CORPSES.

THAT IS HOW OPTIMISTIC I AM ABOUT THIS RUN RIGHT NOW.

We just had a player drop from one of the most difficult to cast roles in this game in ANY GAME WE'VE EVER WRITTEN because he decided he wasn't up to it even though his questionnaire cleared it. This makes the SEVENTH player to drop FROM A FIFTEEN PLAYER GAME. THAT'S HALF THE FUCKING GAME.

Never writing a transsexual character again. I WANTED to. I love the character, and I'm not sure anybody like her exists in any other game, and she makes me feel all special and pioneering and shit because I'm a privileged fucker like that. BUT FUCK THAT SHIT she is fucking impossible to cast. AKLWEJFAIOEHSFLKAJDHSFLJKHMOTHERFUCKER.

(Genderqueer is A-OKAY though. In fact, someday I'll have to write a game consisting entirely of genderqueer characters, seeing as half the cast of Stars is fighting over the one genderqueer character. But MtF trans, no, nobody could possibly play that shit. Augh.)

Also, Crowns is going to fucking kill me. That is all. Well, and bankrupt me to boot. I won't even see what a disaster Stars is because I'll die prematurely of a heart attack an hour into Crowns because I'm not going to be able to sleep until next Friday and it looks like I'm going to be running it alone, which is fucking impossible. Seriously. If I don't find at LEAST one GM, I may honest to god have to cancel the game, which I promised myself I wouldn't do, BUT FUCKING AUGH. I am this close to throwing in the towel anyway because I didn't have a chance to work on the game due to working on Stars, and I have INSANE amounts of work to do in the next week on Crowns alone, never mind the Stars edits and reprint and GM arrangements, and I'm going to FUCKING BREAK.

What do I want to do right now? Cancel both games, drop every game at LARPercalia that I'm playing in except maybe Better Off Dead, and go hide in a hole until my money runs out, which will happen like tomorrow because game-running costs are hemorrhaging me, and I DIE. Also throw things. Throwing things is good.

*headdesk*

That last drop really was the breaking point. I'll be okay, I think. I've done the impossible before, with writing games at the last minute and having them actually run okay. But. Needed to vent badly.

Alcohol. That'll help, right?