RANTYPANTS

[letterblade]

THIS RUN OF STARS OVER ATLANTIS IS FUCKING CURSED. At this point, the BEST I can expect is that half the players DON'T EVEN FUCKING SHOW UP AND THE OTHER HALF LYNCH US AND THEN PLAY VAMPIRE: THE MASQUERADE OVER OUR TWITCHING CORPSES.

THAT IS HOW OPTIMISTIC I AM ABOUT THIS RUN RIGHT NOW.

We just had a player drop from one of the most difficult to cast roles in this game in ANY GAME WE'VE EVER WRITTEN because he decided he wasn't up to it even though his questionnaire cleared it. This makes the SEVENTH player to drop FROM A FIFTEEN PLAYER GAME. THAT'S HALF THE FUCKING GAME.

Never writing a transsexual character again. I WANTED to. I love the character, and I'm not sure anybody like her exists in any other game, and she makes me feel all special and pioneering and shit because I'm a privileged fucker like that. BUT FUCK THAT SHIT she is fucking impossible to cast. AKLWEJFAIOEHSFLKAJDHSFLJKHMOTHERFUCKER.

(Genderqueer is A-OKAY though. In fact, someday I'll have to write a game consisting entirely of genderqueer characters, seeing as half the cast of Stars is fighting over the one genderqueer character. But MtF trans, no, nobody could possibly play that shit. Augh.)

Also, Crowns is going to fucking kill me. That is all. Well, and bankrupt me to boot. I won't even see what a disaster Stars is because I'll die prematurely of a heart attack an hour into Crowns because I'm not going to be able to sleep until next Friday and it looks like I'm going to be running it alone, which is fucking impossible. Seriously. If I don't find at LEAST one GM, I may honest to god have to cancel the game, which I promised myself I wouldn't do, BUT FUCKING AUGH. I am this close to throwing in the towel anyway because I didn't have a chance to work on the game due to working on Stars, and I have INSANE amounts of work to do in the next week on Crowns alone, never mind the Stars edits and reprint and GM arrangements, and I'm going to FUCKING BREAK.

What do I want to do right now? Cancel both games, drop every game at LARPercalia that I'm playing in except maybe Better Off Dead, and go hide in a hole until my money runs out, which will happen like tomorrow because game-running costs are hemorrhaging me, and I DIE. Also throw things. Throwing things is good.

*headdesk*

That last drop really was the breaking point. I'll be okay, I think. I've done the impossible before, with writing games at the last minute and having them actually run okay. But. Needed to vent badly.

Alcohol. That'll help, right?

Comments

[canaana.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Aaand kink_las is due next week in the middle of all this. *facepalm*

[natbudin.livejournal.com]

*hug*

Would me pinging the Resonance waitlist help?

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Different time slot. :/

[natbudin.livejournal.com]

Ah, right.

Well, we do have one waitlister for Harmony Quest. I could ping her...?

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

In a few hours (or possibly longer if I actually drink myself into passing out, which I would love to do right now), I'll be doing a somewhat more coherent "player needed" post with the actual relevant details. (As opposed to an incoherent rant.) I'll ping you then to forward the ping?

[natbudin.livejournal.com]

Sure, I'll be happy to forward.

[matt_doyle]

*also hugs* Players dropping after they have committed is the bane of my existence.

If it helps, pretty much every game you have ever described to me sounds amazing and I would love to play in any of them.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

At least this run doesn't contain my-friend-who-likes-to-sign-up-but-call-in-sick-that-morning-every-fucking-time. Or my-friend-who-doesn't-even-get-that-a-LARP-is-a-commitment-and-bails-for-no-good-reason-after-getting-cast.

I like both those people, which is why I'm not naming them. -.-;; So it could be worse. Only one person has dropped after being cast, he's just in a role that will be very hard to fill. May well be a GM shill for this run. :(

You should come to Intercon if you have the travel budget. (Well, next year's is a long way away but still.) Biggest theatrical LARP con on the coast, at least, maybe in the country. (Dunno about Wyrdcon. They're in California. Too far away for my budget.) Con's free if you run something. Hint. Hint.

Subtlety, thy name is Tory. No, wait, I'm drunk.

[matt_doyle]

At the moment I don't have a rent budget for May, let alone a travel budget for the future, but if I do at some point I would love to come (and to run something) if I could find a place to crash (hint back).

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Ayyy, good luck with that. But my air mattress is always open to you.

[matt_doyle]

Duly noted! Yeah, one of these years I will have more income than outgo, I swear... the last vacation I paid for myself was in 2005.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. It's very frustrating to put so much into a game and then have people pull out like that.

... and alas, I bet you'd probably have more luck casting an FtM trans character.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Somewhat, perhaps. I think I saw more people ruling out FtM than MtF on the questionnaire ('cause it screens for both, for fairness' sake, even though only one is in game), but that might easily be memory bias. On the other paw, there are a lot more female players than male who are comfortable being straight-up cross-cast. And if a female player is comfortable playing a dude, she'll probably be comfortable playing a transdude.

It's complicated in this run by the overall gender balance of the game making it so that the MtF character pretty much HAD to be played by a guy. (There are a lot more cisfemale characters than cismale characters, so the neutral slots in the game signups, which correspond those characters who are neither of the above, generally wind up being guys, and guys are less genderflexible in their playing in general. Meh.)

Someday I'll go through the answers I've gotten on that questionnaire and compile the actual statistics: who's comfortable playing what, broken down by player gender. It would probably be fascinating. :D

...I don't suppose you would be interested in GMing next Friday? I remember we discussed this in the abstract a long time ago, and you were vaguely interested, but I know it's supershort notice because I'm disorganized as all hell right now. :(

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

I thought seriously about this, trying to figure out if I could work the logistics. I don't think I can; between being completely wiped out at week's end these days and a bunch of other things going on, I just don't think I would be of any use to you for however many hours I could manage to stay. I'm very sorry.

[rigel.livejournal.com]

If there's anything I can do, let me know.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Given that you're playing in both games...er, a signal boost on this

http://wired-lizard.livejournal.com/467602.html

would be very, very welcome. As well as the "we need a player for X role" call that'll be coming in a few hours, as soon as I'm coherent enough to type one up.

[laura47.livejournal.com]

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

Trans is hard. I ran KfT last night, and trans angst came up in way more detail than I'd seen in previous runs, and it was fascinating to watch. I will ask that player if she wants to play SoA? I played Robin in my run, and would happily play trans characters, but I am also terrified to write them because I think I would curl and die if I wrote it and it went poorly. Especially running it for a first-come first-served kind of setting.

I will signal boost anything you like. I'm poking some MITish LARPers.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Also, while you're poking people, mention that there's at least one role available in Crowns on Friday night. (We've had some drops. We may have another drop, if I wind up needing to cannibalize my players for GMs.) Might be good for an MIT guy, depending.

I haven't posted public players-wanted for either, because I have waitlist people who kind of get first dibs, but I need to screen them for the roles. But I'll let you know.

[mirrored-echo.livejournal.com]

That really sucks. If you'd have an easier time finding an additional player than an additional GM for Crown of Hearts, I'd be happy to drop and help you GM. (If you find an additional GM who isn't me, that would be much better, but not running the game at all would really suck.)

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

That is a super-generous offer, and thank you!

I got some other drops just yesterday evening, and I'm struggling to fill those right now. So I admit I'm a little pessimistic about finding still more players. Also, still working on the GM search...but it's good to know I have emergency backup and can run game no matter what. :D

Assuming that I can fill your role, what's the latest point at which you're comfortable becoming a GM?

[mirrored-echo.livejournal.com]

I'd need enough time to catch up on game, and would probably need to meet in person with you. The only nights I'm free next week are Tuesday and Wednesday (and Tuesday would involve canceling existing plans) -- so, that would mean Wednesday afternoon at the very, very latest.

Earlier would be better, though; particularly if you want help with more time-consuming things buying props, printing out character sheets, and stuffing packets. I was planning to go costume shopping tomorrow afternoon; if you let me know before then, I could theoretically meet with you and help with those things. And it'd mean I wouldn't have to buy a costume I wouldn't end up using. But if you think there's a reasonable chance that you'll find another GM in the next few days and can meet Tuesday or Wednesday, waiting until later in the week is fine.

Let me know.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

*hugs*, I has them.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

*hugshugshugs*

Also, you should email me with when you'd be available for a Stars GM conference.

[contradictacat.livejournal.com]

So, I know it's trading one problem for another, but given that I'm not sure how I apped- would it help if I said that I would be willing to play that character? (looks at app again) Oh man- how did I skip answering that? I'm sorry. So yeah. Consider me a volunteer for the role, unless you think I would absolutely hate it with the fire of a thousand suns. (I am saying this only guessing that my role will be easier to fill than the other one, and because I don't know that much about the other plots.)

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Nnnnf. No, I think you'd do okay with that role. Jackie's not the easiest cast either, but. Can I consider that as a sort of backup solution if somebody steps in who fits Jackie far better than the other?

Much as I would love to see you as Jackie.

You wouldn't actually have been a possibility for that role in the beginning, as the gender ratio of signups necessitated casting that character with a male player. In future, I think I'm going to change the signup ratio, because she'll probably be easier to cast with female players.

[zrealm.livejournal.com]

Ouch - sorry to hear that =( *hugs*

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

I am so glad I didn't sign up to run a game at Palindrome. Too...much...LARPs...need...break...

*hugs*

[zrealm.livejournal.com]

Aww.... but the RPI area is fun at least?

I miss LARPers - I kind of want to crash Palindrome just 'cause....

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I hope I'll get a chance to drop by the store. :) (I'm there for LHXS. And staying for the rest of the con, but mostly that.)

Doooo iiiiiit!

[zrealm.livejournal.com]

Sweet - definitely 100% come by the store. The store is cool! :-)

[miraba.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I'll be visiting the next weekend. *facepalm*

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Huzzah timing! *facepalm* Would've loved to see you play, too.

[lisefrac.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry :( This sucks. As you know, I'm suffering through a similar thing right now, only with less stress.

I too would offer to take over, except that I've already read my sheet and would know all about that Mysterious Invisible Person With Headband.

[lisefrac.livejournal.com]

Also, if you need to borrow any props, let me know. I now have a body!... by which I mean an inflatable mannequin.

[laura47.livejournal.com]

i have always meant to get one of those for LARPs, I don't suppose I could borrow it saturday of palindrome?

[lisefrac.livejournal.com]

Absolutely!

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Ooooo! Would it be possible for me to borrow that for Crowns, actually?

[lisefrac.livejournal.com]

No problem!

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

*hugs* And I'm sure Lily is frustrated that she is already cast and thus cannot break out her outrageous Russian accent.

...yeah, you're in one of those roles that Knows Too Much and thus can't really be recast. :/

[laura47.livejournal.com]

GMs never ask, but I know I would always be willing to chip in some money for game running costs, or if there is anything I can lend or donate?

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

I'd actually been thinking of taking a page out of Foam Brain's book and offering light refreshments as an excuse to ask players for five or ten bucks. Probably not for these runs, as I do not have the spoons to organize it, but in the future...yeah. Especially if I'm running outside of a con and thus have organizational freedom.

At this point, I think I'm fully propped, at least as much as I will be. Unless you happen to have a toy harp?