Things I Learned From Pr0n.

[letterblade]

SOOO recently I acquired some kinky gay pr0n. Visual kinky gay pr0n made by Real Gay Men (?) for money. (As opposed to textual kinky gay pr0n made by Crazed Omnisexual Women (!) for fun, which is my usual fare.) I have enjoyed this pr0n immensely, albeit with a few moments taken to grumble about some of the double standards. (There are men with body hair. One never sees women with body hair in pr0n this close to mainstream! The fuzzy boy is cute, especially when screaming, but I want fuzzy girls.)

I have also learned a few things from this pr0n. To wit:

1. Worship means covering something with oil and slapping it a lot, punctuated by groaning. I think propogation of this definition would significantly improve most organized religion.

2. Real Gay Men never take their boots off. This is, in fact, proof of sexual orientation as nature and not choice, as Real Gay Men--top, bottom, or anywhere in between--seem to be born with the black army boots already firmly in place, and live their entire lives with their lower appendages blessed with a natural protective layer, rendering them immune to bastinado.

3. Somewhere out there, in some dingy closet, in some janitor's cart between the mop and the toilet paper, is a flogger with your name on it.

Comments

[cwoolard.livejournal.com]

>Real Gay Men never take their boots off.

*cough*six inch spiked heels*cough*

Seriously, doesn't anyone do it in their sneakers anymore?

[rain-herself.livejournal.com]

Someday I want to see some porn with some guy in just a pair of black socks. Now *that* is realistic.

[mytheria.livejournal.com]

You're optimistic here. Ankle height athletic socks? Too rushed to bother to take off the sandals, and just shedding the shorts?
That would match the gay boys I know better.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

The gay pr0n of the early 90s (believe me, I saw more of this than I want to admit) generally involved white athletic socks never coming off. But only the bottom had socks on, so when his knees were next to his ears, there were these white socks flailing around in the air. The top needed his traction, because generally he wasn't on a convenient bed, he was standing on the floor or the bottom of the hot tub or the random California cliff face or whatever.

Now the one gay pr0n of the 70s that I saw was a Roman historical flick that actually wasn't bad had sandals! Soldier sandals, peasant sandals, patrician sandals. Oh, and a badly dubbed voice for the torturer, who was a great big leather bear. But the togas made for easy access.

[rain-herself.livejournal.com]

I clearly need to watch more gay men having sex. I think the black socks are a straight man thing.

But then, I already needed to watch more gay men having sex. :)