I need to see Queen Latifah's cleavage. Eight stories tall.

Actually, iMax gives me the collywobbles, but...

A Brief Record of my Evening with telepwen

Chicago--the movie. HOT DAMN!!! I'm not straight. Well, we knew that already, but I'm not straight. That was a fantastic bit of celluloid and everybody should go see it right now. As cool as Moulin Rouge, except not cheesy, and way skankier. Cell Block Tango...Queen Latifah's cleavage...*faints*

Earlier, we sporked Pizzaria Uno's. Loudly. In propellor beanies. Claiming it was my birthday. We folded up the bills into a little origami setting and stood outside the restaurant laughing our asses off as the waiters filed over one by one to stare. Spork spork spork spork! She also presented me with a square fifty-cent piece, and had a stuffed snake that hissed, loudly.

Boatloads of fun, all told. And now I am way too hyper and it's midnight, so I can't dance without waking Mum up and getting yelled at. Meep!

Oh, my god.

Cybele wrote Harry/Bill.

Shall I say this again? Cybele wrote Harry/Bill.

Squeeeeeeeeee.

Oh, my god.

Snaples illustrated the Harry/Bill.

Shall I say this again? Snaples illustrated the Harry/Bill.

Squeeeeeeeeee.

The Apology Meme.

Becase I felt like it. Note that I am only including fics listed on my ficlist (with one major exception); anything more than that would get too long for my sanity.

Peter Pettigrew: I am sorry for taking away your ability to transform, but you deserved the angst.

Quirrell: Your life sucked, and that's canon; I am not sorry for giving you some personality. I would be sorry about your lack of a name, but you'll have to take it up with JKR.

Tom Riddle: I'm sorry for making you talk to the trippy garter snakes, making you snog Cornelius Fudge, and the dehydration and cheesy German poetry. I am only somewhat sorry for siccing Lucius Malfoy on you and pairing you off with a skinny little Gryffindor, because at least you're getting hot sex.

Lucius Malfoy: I'm sorry for making you straight. I'm not sorry for letting you have your wicked way with Tom Riddle and Percy Weasley, because you enjoyed every second of it.

Alastor Moody: I'm sorry for making you have a convoluted affair with a future dark lord in your sixth year at school, but you can't complain too much, because you did get some hot sex.

Cornelius Fudge: I'm sorry for making you have a simple affair with a future dark lord in your fourth year at school, but it's canonical that you have really bad taste in colors, if not in prefects.

Percy Weasley: I'm sorry for making you a submissive masochist at the mercy of Lucius Malfoy. But you know you want it.

To hop fandoms:

Saavedro: I'm sorry for all the angst, and the scar, and the spare kid. Well, not all the angst. Some of that you'll have to take up with Presto.

Tamra: I'm really, really sorry for the whole Sirrus thing. I gave you a personality, though. Does that help some?

Sirrus: I'm not sorry for taking you away from Tamra, telling you creepy stories, making you incompetent at killing people, making your brother kill your lover, making Achenar beat up on you when you were little, making you invisible, giving you the most messed-up attitude towards women around, and giving you the occasional hallucination. You deserved it.

Achenar: I'm not sorry for hauling you around Narayan like spare luggage until the torture scene, telling you creepy stories, making you incompetent at killing people painfully enough, giving you really bad dreams, making Sirrus beat up on you when you were little, getting you mindfucked by Channelwood, making you invisible, and getting you mindfucked by your brother. You deserved it.

Atrus: I'm sorry about the kids, but it's not my fault.

Catherine: I'm sorry I haven't finished the story.

To hop fandoms again:

Allen Schezar: I'm sorry. It's canon. I'm really, really sorry for the whole Dilandau affair, but I don't actually hate you, and you've got Gaddes.

Viole: I'm vaguely sorry for letting your commander scare the crap out of you. He does that.

Dilandau Albatou: I'm sorry for not letting you burn even more shit. Also for getting your ass kicked by Van and Celena and making you marry Eries, but we haven't gotten there yet.

Celena Schezar: I'm sorry you didn't get to shag Van earlier, or Eries at all.

Van Fanel: I'm sorry for Dilandau. Don't worry, you'll break him eventually.

Folken Fanel: I'm sorry I never wrote much about you. You rock, and deserve a pet Allen.

That is all.