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letterbladeJust found out, via my friendslist, that the love of my life is moving to Germany for a year, to be with the love of his life.
...honestly, I kind of expected this months ago. It's still a bit of a blow. If nothing else, I wanted to finagle him into more LARPing, because he's amazing, but...so much for anything.
Please to be being over this someday, and not turning into a cranky, lonely old maid?
That aside:
Highlights of Intercon Midatlantic included playing Santa Claus, making out several cute people (didn't get farther and I wouldn't have handled it if it did), hanging with famous LARP writers, and walking on the beach.
Lowlights included realizing it wouldn't go farther and I wouldn't have handled it, playing several manipulative bitches not particularly well, spending a fair chunk of Saturday depressed and lonely, and getting stuck in traffic for an hour over the Tappan Zee when I really really had to pee and then getting lost in some place called Nyack looking for a bathroom. (I have been instructed how to avoid Nyack in the future.)
Also I slept in until four in the afternoon yesterday, which is, like, unprecedented. I was supposed to take a half day at work; I rushed in as soon as I woke up, caught up on stuff, made sure I wasn't fired (knock wood), and got roped into production.
I think there was something else I wanted to post about, but now I forget.
Oh, yeah--my new major problem as a housemate. Which is buying random yummy large fruits and veggies, leaving them on the counter, getting sick or distracted and forgetting about them, and letting them rot and molder to spectacularly disgusting degrees in shared space. :/ And then finding them and picking them up first thing in the morning, just to put me off breakfast.
The more I think about it--following less on the rotting vegetables and more on the lonely old maid thing and being depressed at a con full of LARPs and sex--the more I realize I am an extremely fucked up person. And that I've still got a huge bleeding hole in my chest from him dumping me, what, six months ago? And I have no idea, no idea at all, how to go about healing.
And now I need to stop thinking about this so I can go to work and get through the day without crying. I'm housed, employed. No family members or close friends are dying, hospitalized, or racking up huge medical bills. I'm doing well.
...honestly, I kind of expected this months ago. It's still a bit of a blow. If nothing else, I wanted to finagle him into more LARPing, because he's amazing, but...so much for anything.
Please to be being over this someday, and not turning into a cranky, lonely old maid?
That aside:
Highlights of Intercon Midatlantic included playing Santa Claus, making out several cute people (didn't get farther and I wouldn't have handled it if it did), hanging with famous LARP writers, and walking on the beach.
Lowlights included realizing it wouldn't go farther and I wouldn't have handled it, playing several manipulative bitches not particularly well, spending a fair chunk of Saturday depressed and lonely, and getting stuck in traffic for an hour over the Tappan Zee when I really really had to pee and then getting lost in some place called Nyack looking for a bathroom. (I have been instructed how to avoid Nyack in the future.)
Also I slept in until four in the afternoon yesterday, which is, like, unprecedented. I was supposed to take a half day at work; I rushed in as soon as I woke up, caught up on stuff, made sure I wasn't fired (knock wood), and got roped into production.
I think there was something else I wanted to post about, but now I forget.
Oh, yeah--my new major problem as a housemate. Which is buying random yummy large fruits and veggies, leaving them on the counter, getting sick or distracted and forgetting about them, and letting them rot and molder to spectacularly disgusting degrees in shared space. :/ And then finding them and picking them up first thing in the morning, just to put me off breakfast.
The more I think about it--following less on the rotting vegetables and more on the lonely old maid thing and being depressed at a con full of LARPs and sex--the more I realize I am an extremely fucked up person. And that I've still got a huge bleeding hole in my chest from him dumping me, what, six months ago? And I have no idea, no idea at all, how to go about healing.
And now I need to stop thinking about this so I can go to work and get through the day without crying. I'm housed, employed. No family members or close friends are dying, hospitalized, or racking up huge medical bills. I'm doing well.
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no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 12:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 01:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 02:58 pm (UTC)I will try to visit you soon and bring sex with me. Is there anything else you would like from NY when I visit?
no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)I think you are a very unlikely candidate for the Die Alone In The Rain Club. Things are fucked up right now because you've had a helluva year (and, really, a hell of a couple of years, given who you spent that time with), and it's no wonder you're still being hammered by what happened with the boy, given how tender things were after your time with the sociopath/narcissist.
no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)Just try and not wallow for too long. You have so much light and spark left to experience.
no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)It's easier to hurt when you're doing well, I think, because you have more time and energy for it. At least that's been the case for me.
no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Nov. 18th, 2008 09:58 pm (UTC)