Resurgence of an old demon

[letterblade]

...social anxiety with regards to emails and LJ comments and the general practice of keeping in touch with people?

CHECK.

*chases anxiety around with a hairbrush and attempts to smite*

Like, I both want to be in touch with people and kind of squirm away from the concept and the sometimes uncomfortably large amounts of effort involved? And then I get into these horrible complexes of 'if I haven't emailed himherit in x amount of time, sheheit must hate me?' And then I convince myself that if I express the slightest degree of awkward they'll thing I'm a freak and tell everybody and then I'll never find a roommate?

THE LITTLE FUCKER.

This particular demon hasn't been this bad in a while. The little twit. I'M GONNA THONG IT.

...as soon as I have dinner. Must fooooood.

Comments

[paper-crystals.livejournal.com]

Which reminds me. I am sorry I have not e-mailed you back. I keep meaning to. It was a nice e-mail.

*hugs*

Me

[mattador.livejournal.com]

I like talking to you, and replies are nice, but I'm not about to hate you if you don't reply. I've had my own bouts for being extremely antisocial in the past. There is absolutely no quid pro quo involved in friendship.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

There is absolutely no quid pro quo involved in friendship.

...there isn't?

I thought everyone always said there was.

Or maybe you just accidentally struck at the root of one of my social anxieties. I always feel like I have to earn things. Be good enough and people will like me, etc.

[mattador.livejournal.com]

I think, for me at least, friendship is more of a Do as thou wilt, and it harm none sort of institution. I ask for nothing of my friends except that they be themselves, and that they don't deliberately abuse me or others or treat us deliberately poorly.

I like you because you are the way you are; and while I want you to be happy and healthy in all things, I don't want you to modify yourself for my approval, or anyone else's. If that means I don't get to talk to you as much as I might like, I'd still rather that than make you feel under any obligation to talk, you know?

Though actually, at the moment I'm brainstorming a story about a kinky gay nontraditional werewolf, and while I was thinking of people whose input would be fun and useful, you scored very highly.

But only if you want to.

[miraba.livejournal.com]

Do you go for Draco/Snape/Harry? There's an awesome new piece of fic if you do.

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

Eeep! Hope you can smite the little demon soon *hugs*

[triedandwired.livejournal.com]

Update when you can love, we just love to read your entries and hear about what's up with you. No pressure!

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

I still *heart* you!

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Oh, I hate that demon. Being that I've actually lost a 20-year-long friendship over not attentively! responding! to! her! emails! instantly! and! thought! fully!, I try my best to be laid-back about email interactions with others. But it doesn't mean that I don't stress about it for myself.

[nevacaruso.livejournal.com]

Ergh, I know that demon (and its cousins) well. *smites it* And I hope that I haven't put too much communication pressure on you, because, as many people have said, none is intended. *snugs*

[cahalith.livejournal.com]

I know exactly how this feels. LJ comments I don't really have a problem replying to, but there are lots of people on my f-list I haven't called/emailed/IMed in awhile, and then I'll think "I haven't talked to x in y time, should I?" and then I think "if I talk to them now they'll think I want something because they haven't kept in contact with me." and then I just don't do it because I'll be afraid of what they think. I hate doing that.