Self-presentation advice?

[letterblade]

Those of you who are active kinky:

I am going to a play party tomorrow evening. I'm going as a single bottom, probably younger and less experienced than most there, who is relatively reticent about approaching people. Now, I'm obviously not going to haul my entire box-o-gear there. (This is, like, HALF of it; well, maybe more than half by bulk, but that's the 293847234 feet of thick nylon that I've almost never used in any context except my ex's amateur bondage photography.)

I'd originally thought of going empty-handed. Should I perhaps pack a few favorites? Erk?

Also, collar or no collar?

(For further context: I honestly don't expect to get much play. I've been to parties in this crowd a few times before; everyone is pretty much either a stranger or has shown no interest in me, and people tend to come with full dance cards. (Maybe this will be different now that I am unattached? I don't know. But.) I mean, IF something happens? Yes, that would be AWESOME. But I'm going in with no expectations, except watching a lot of play, ogling the equipment, and eating chips.)

(Mmm, chips.)

(I actually have more switch urges than I thought, but NOT unless I know the person very well. So at a party? With, like, people who I haven't spoken with and sexxed for hours and hours and so on? NOT toppy in the least.)

(I should write a post on this whole switch urges thing at some point.)

(Except my brain is, like, dead. No urges to do anything productive whatosever. I think this calls for Katamari Damacy.)

(PARENTHESES WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.)

Comments

[mgrasso.livejournal.com]

Oooh, sounds like a good time. I hope you have fun!

(Sadly, I have no advice, as I tend not to get invited to That Sort of Party, and I have no idea what sort of etiquette guides it.) :)

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

I, a stereotypical Virgo, wouldn't bring things because I'd be nervous all night about them getting dirty or stepped on or me forgetting them, but Your Mileage Definitely Varies.

Still rocking the YMMV theme, while a collar probably looks really good on you, I'd avoid it because of how often it's a symbolic thing. Cuffs instead?

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

If you wear a collar, you won't be approached, you'll be assumed taken. At least that's the way it works here.

opinions

[mytheria.livejournal.com]

1: no collar (you'll get more interest)
2: take a few favorites in a bag, but tuck a list in there too (just so you can be sure you bring home all you took)
3: if you are feeling too shy, ask the host if they'd play yenta, and point you at the right people to talk to (an introduction is your friend)

[triedandwired.livejournal.com]

Oooo have fun!

[quigonejinn.livejournal.com]

(There is no reason to put this in a parenthenses, but they are infectious.)

(You are probably there now hopefully having fun. And/or eating chips. I hope you didn't end up too red from the sun at lunch.)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

(I think this calls for Katamari Damacy.)

Kinky!

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

My boobs will roll up the world!

[lucky-otter.livejournal.com]

Sweet! Have fun.

The following is based on extensive reading and attending one play party (wasn't really into the energy there), so enjoy a shaker full of salt as you read on.

I agree with the no collar bit, especially if the crowd is mostly older. Young kinksters don't as often use them to indicate some sort of ongoing D/s relationship, but that is common in the Old Guard. Without knowing what sort of crowd this is, I'd not wear it.

People definitely go to play parties intending to meet, and play with, new people. Or at least meet them and maybe play with them some other time.

I'd bring a small bag of favorite toys. Agreed on having a written list, too. Wouldn't bother with rope, as any rope top is likely to have hir own along. Definitely yes on a couple of sensation toys, though.

[tenshikurai9.livejournal.com]

This reminds me, I never got to see if I could dom you or not.