An experiment in extensive reviewing...
Dec. 25th, 2002 07:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
letterbladeThe fruits of procrastination and tired muses: the closest thing to a long and systematic review I've written in a long time. Trying to get over my recent review insecurity by blathering way too much about a certain yummy fic. Thinking of doing similar reviews in a similar format for all fics I read that are worth it. And, of course, this is opinionated as hell, and probably somewhat incoherent, especially when it comes to prose styles--an area of writing that I've nowhere near theorized on enough to be coherent. 
Like the Finest Gold, by Cedar
The Story:
Lucius Malfoy, at Hogwarts at the same time as James Potter, knows more about a few certain Animagi than he should. Blackmail leads to sex leads to a quite disgruntled and confused James. Because he isn’t supposed to like being Malfoy’s toy, not one bit, not when he’s supposed to be in love with Lily, not when he’s really only stripping naked and handing over his wand for the sake of his friends... (and who are you trying to convince, boy?)
The Good:
Rich with conflicting emotions, subtly intense, and deliciously ambiguous--as Potters and Malfoys are wont to be. The subtlety here, and what makes it more than a simply (and quite hot) slash story, is in the writing style. Cedar, bless her heart, is constantly experimenting: here she uses a second-person (where the “you” is James), which is probably enough to send some people running screaming in the other direction. I’ve read a second-person story or two before (Rhoddlet, if I recall), and I have a fondness for them. It lends the story a hallucinatory intensity: when you are reading “Waterworld,” you are Ron Weasley, swinging between tender despair and desperate rage; when you are reading “Like the Finest Gold,” you are James Potter, shivering under Lucius’ touch and berating himself for not lying back and thinking of England.
Of course, only half of said intensity stems from the person; the rest is Cedar’s writing style, which somehow is simultaneously abstractly poetic and filled with clarity. It’s too easy to lose sight of the characters, to lose what they’re actually saying, what they’re actually doing, when one deviates from the modern commercial school of realistic, unpoetic prose. And it’s also too easy to slide into hyperbole. Cedar, in my mind, pulls off the balance quite well: everything is still in focus, and “Like the Finest Gold” hovers several notches above, say, “Irresistible Poison” on the purpleness scale. The color of the prose is like some unusual filter on a film, enough to lend the scene a subtly different air, but not enough to diminish our understanding of the events. And, despite maintaining an R rating--she did keep it out of focus enough to avoid making it NC-17, despite some very sexual situations--it’s really bloody hot. The slash slut in me has spoken. ;-)
Also keep an eye out for the chapter titles. Who but Cedar would pattern a slash fic after verses of the Bible? ;-) And there’s art! Darned good art at that. And, for one more small thing, pay attention to Lucius’ word choice in chapter 1. That insinuating, maliciously witty little Slytherin bitch! *cackles madly*
The Bad:
It’s only available through chapter two.
So there’s very little I can say right now about overall character development and such. Currently I think this section will mainly be limited to Want More Now! I can only speculate where it might be going, or make overbearing requests concerning what I’d like to see it do--deal with the reactions of the other Marauders and Lily, perhaps, because I doubt poor flustered James is going to be able to lie to them for a year, and whatever might happen if James decided he wanted to be on top for once, or Lucius decided he wanted to share his toy with Snape, or...?
The transition between introduction and flashback and the symbolism of the dropped flask was somewhat unclear to me the first time around.
The Ugly:
I will never look at Trelawney’s couch in the same way again. ;-) And, yes, that would make a great Yahoo!group name...
The Quote:
"Like being out of control?"
Your breath came shallow, a canticle of lust. Do not speak. Do not move. Do not betray yourself.
"Well?" Choke back your gasp as he took you in his mouth, steaming and supple. Do not speak. Struggle to hold on to your sanity. Do not move. Keep your hips down, resist the need to thrust as he moved so slowly as to be agonizing. Do not betray yourself.
(Chapter 2)
The Link: At The Dark Arts. At Fanfiction.net.
Like the Finest Gold, by Cedar
The Story:
Lucius Malfoy, at Hogwarts at the same time as James Potter, knows more about a few certain Animagi than he should. Blackmail leads to sex leads to a quite disgruntled and confused James. Because he isn’t supposed to like being Malfoy’s toy, not one bit, not when he’s supposed to be in love with Lily, not when he’s really only stripping naked and handing over his wand for the sake of his friends... (and who are you trying to convince, boy?)
The Good:
Rich with conflicting emotions, subtly intense, and deliciously ambiguous--as Potters and Malfoys are wont to be. The subtlety here, and what makes it more than a simply (and quite hot) slash story, is in the writing style. Cedar, bless her heart, is constantly experimenting: here she uses a second-person (where the “you” is James), which is probably enough to send some people running screaming in the other direction. I’ve read a second-person story or two before (Rhoddlet, if I recall), and I have a fondness for them. It lends the story a hallucinatory intensity: when you are reading “Waterworld,” you are Ron Weasley, swinging between tender despair and desperate rage; when you are reading “Like the Finest Gold,” you are James Potter, shivering under Lucius’ touch and berating himself for not lying back and thinking of England.
Of course, only half of said intensity stems from the person; the rest is Cedar’s writing style, which somehow is simultaneously abstractly poetic and filled with clarity. It’s too easy to lose sight of the characters, to lose what they’re actually saying, what they’re actually doing, when one deviates from the modern commercial school of realistic, unpoetic prose. And it’s also too easy to slide into hyperbole. Cedar, in my mind, pulls off the balance quite well: everything is still in focus, and “Like the Finest Gold” hovers several notches above, say, “Irresistible Poison” on the purpleness scale. The color of the prose is like some unusual filter on a film, enough to lend the scene a subtly different air, but not enough to diminish our understanding of the events. And, despite maintaining an R rating--she did keep it out of focus enough to avoid making it NC-17, despite some very sexual situations--it’s really bloody hot. The slash slut in me has spoken. ;-)
Also keep an eye out for the chapter titles. Who but Cedar would pattern a slash fic after verses of the Bible? ;-) And there’s art! Darned good art at that. And, for one more small thing, pay attention to Lucius’ word choice in chapter 1. That insinuating, maliciously witty little Slytherin bitch! *cackles madly*
The Bad:
It’s only available through chapter two.
So there’s very little I can say right now about overall character development and such. Currently I think this section will mainly be limited to Want More Now! I can only speculate where it might be going, or make overbearing requests concerning what I’d like to see it do--deal with the reactions of the other Marauders and Lily, perhaps, because I doubt poor flustered James is going to be able to lie to them for a year, and whatever might happen if James decided he wanted to be on top for once, or Lucius decided he wanted to share his toy with Snape, or...?
The transition between introduction and flashback and the symbolism of the dropped flask was somewhat unclear to me the first time around.
The Ugly:
I will never look at Trelawney’s couch in the same way again. ;-) And, yes, that would make a great Yahoo!group name...
The Quote:
"Like being out of control?"
Your breath came shallow, a canticle of lust. Do not speak. Do not move. Do not betray yourself.
"Well?" Choke back your gasp as he took you in his mouth, steaming and supple. Do not speak. Struggle to hold on to your sanity. Do not move. Keep your hips down, resist the need to thrust as he moved so slowly as to be agonizing. Do not betray yourself.
(Chapter 2)
The Link: At The Dark Arts. At Fanfiction.net.