I SNAP BRAINS LIKE CANDY

[letterblade]

So I was standing there doing the dishes (@#(*$&@*#&$^ lack of dishwasher!) and listening to a random mix which had provided me, to start with, the floorshow from Rocky Horror...

...when my brain started doing something that was, in some ways, inevitable, but which I KINDA HOPED IT NEVER WOULD.

So Brad and Janet are *obviously* Tidus and Yuna...

...and Frankie could be NOBODY but Seymour. The boy nances enough in canon as is--every time I see him I keep wanting to yell "Dude, Seymour, put it away!"--and you just know he'd have a specially-cut plunge-front corset to show off those...tattoos? Guado markings? Whatever the fuck he's got splashed across his slimy-man-chest?

At any rate.

Riff, Magenta, and Columbia are also obvious--Wakka, Lulu, and Rikku, respectively. As is Eddie, who is SO Jecht it's barely funny...

(JECHT/RIKKU MY BRRAAAAAAAAAIN @.@)

From there I started whiffling. Auron could honestly be Rocky, Scott, or the narrator--but I think he might work best as Scott. He is the brains of that outfit, after all.

The narrator is obviously Maechen. Or rather, a very confused Braska might start the part, but about the time Yuna starts getting...ah, uninhibited...he flees in terror and leaves Maechen to take over, supplemented by O'aka trying to get him to shut up so he can sell stuff.

This leaves Rocky himself. But I left Rocky until the end very much on purpose. Because once I realized I was going to wind up with Jecht/Rikku, whatever shreds of sanity I had left died a quick yet painful death, and I went for broke. Which means that Rocky is none other than our canonical verbally challenged strongman in a loincloth...Kimahri.

XDDDDDD

Comments

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Ow.

... somehow, I see Tidus more as Rocky. Possibly because then I wouldn't have to listen to his gooby American voice. But then that leaves the role of Brad open, and Auron/Yuna is kinda brain-hurty too.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't think there's anybody else who could properly be a Brad to Yuna's Janet. I mean, if Auron's Brad, then Braska would have to be Janet, and Jecht Frankie, and then that's a whole different casting...but I don't think we have enough characters from that generation to complete it properly.

Besides, Tidus' dub isn't nearly as gooby as Yuna's. (Then again, I'm living with a major Yuna fan, I'm biased.) I will happily, however, envision him in a gold thong. XP

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

I think I got used to Yuna's voice in Xenosaga (same actress). She was less gooby there, and convinced me that she was capable of some degree of acting.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

She is capable of acting a little when she doesn't have to pace herself to the Japanese...the problem is she deals with one of the Universal Dub Issues (the fact that it takes about half again as long to say anything in English as it does in Japanese) by--hesitating in--awkward places...like unto James...T. Kirk. Many bad dubs have this problem, sometimes with specific actors, sometimes universally--in which case it's obviously bad *directing.*

In her sphere recording on Gagazet, when she didn't have to match lip flaps and blocking and could just narrate, she wasn't bad! But the rest of the game...augh.

Whereas Tidus, though he suffers from Generic American Heroic Teenaged Boy Voice (though not as badly as some--it fits him better than it does Ed Elric, for example), at least sounds like he's speaking normally, as do most of the rest.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I suppose. Possibly I just loathe and abominate most American male voices when they're inflicted on me. (Separatist? Moi?)

... at least it's not Shinji's dub voice. GAH. Boy. Cannot. Scream. To Save. His Life. He needed an intense weekend course on screaming with Ogata Megumi.

[mattador.livejournal.com]

Tidus: Yuna!

Seymour: Kimahri!

Yuna: Tidus!

Kimahri: ...

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

And of course Kimahri would spend the entirety of the Charles Atlas Song attempting to convince Seymour, in vain and monosyllables, that he is not, in fact, a man, and never will be, as he is a Ronso and already eats raw eggs for breakfast. Lulu provides the "six long nights" counterpoint. Braska plays the organ.

[wired-lizard.livejournal.com]

...most actors could probably use an intensive screaming course from Ogata Megumi. XD

Ahh, nothing like a good Shinji-Scream.

[mattador.livejournal.com]

Here is where I admit that I never got that far in the game and have only the vaguest of ideas who some of these characters are.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Yeahhh.

I note that, upon re-watching Goblet of Fire the other night, I think Dan Radcliffe actually doesn't do a bad job of screaming. He might have done okay if he'd actually been cast as Shinji in the live-action Eva.

[cktraveler.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, I am now scrubbing out my brain with steel wool.