letterblade: (ohnoes)
[personal profile] letterblade
I really kind of hated parts of FFXII. As Rossini said of Wagner, it has great moments and bad quarter-hours. Or hours. Or dozens of hours. When you're doing the endless boring grinding trying to keep yourself levelled enough to go on in one piece, or just scrape up enough cash to buy decent armor which is virtually impossible, and this doesn't even consist of actually DOING anything, because you pre-program all your character's actions and then just wander around with the controller in one hand and your ramen in another, drowning in game-boredom-induced existential addictive depression...

...no, I don't have a 100-hour-plus save of this game, why do you ask?

And some of the characters are completely pointless and/or useless, and the summons are also utterly useless and generally ugly, and most of the game system is annoying and/or skewed, and the plot is a sprawling mess, and huge boring dungeons are huuuuuuuge and you keep getting dragged back into them for sidequest after sidequest until the dungeon music won't leave your brain...

150-hour-plus, I think!

But there's a part of me that's all like, "well, hey, you never DID actually do the final dungeon and the ending, you should find out how it ends, and replay the plot up until then for context, I mean, you don't HAVE to do all the sidequests that drag you back to the Giza Plains 293847287364 times and the extra bosses, and your replays of FFX were, like, noticeably shorter each time, so this will be the same...and, hey, there are secondary characters you still can't keep straight, and you did want to write the fucked-up Vayne Solidor/Doctor Cid pr0n with the Venat thing watching them...and it's not like the game isn't REALLY FUCKING PRETTY, except for those stupid summons..."

I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME. LIKE WRITING STARS. AND THE FIC I OWE [livejournal.com profile] quigonejinn, LIKE, SOON. EVEN THOUGH MY WRITERBRAIN IS STIIIIILL BURNED OUT FROM KINK BINGO.

*flails*

I really did kind of doom myself by downloading the soundtrack. But I had my Favorite Dungeon Music Ever stuck in my head, and there are a few other really nice tracks. And hearing it on better speakers than the tiny crappy old TV Cyn had is really nice--there's a crispness to much of the music, and extra layers of instrumentation, that's really quite pleasing.

But.

There's also a lot of emotional baggage here. My 150-hour-plus game of FFXII is, at least from my perspective, a major portion of why Cyn deemed me a useless layabout and threw me out of the house. Because, y'know, it's not like she never sat around in a depressive-addictive haze and played video games instead of job-hunting while unemployed, but she was a grown-up and I wasn't, so it wasn't okay for ME to do it.

And I already had a bit of an obsessive streak with my FFX replay, and I really, really don't want the current housemate to wind up thinking the same thing.

And I really should write more of Stars. And go eat my kamut-with-butter-and-garlic as soon as it's finished, and stop whining about video games.

(I may throw a few of the nicer soundtrack bits up at some point though.)
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