Yayz.

Jul. 30th, 2008 07:12 pm
letterblade: (banana)
[personal profile] letterblade


...I got this thingie, you got 14k of genderflipped madness, and Planned Parenthood got $460. (Thank you to last-minute donor!)

Surviving this week at work is proving more difficult than surviving Blogathon. Between the wacky, wacky hours forced by driving (to ease my ankle) and trying not to sit in two hours of rush hour traffic (to ease my ankle, my fuel efficiency, and my sanity) and the usual end-of-month accounting clusterfuck, and being sales person again because our usual was out, and becoming a partially-fledged IT minion with all attendant running about...the only reason today wasn't another 11-hour day was because I put my foot down that I was absolutely, positively leaving before 3. Except for the phone meeting later that day, which I attended in bed wrapped up in blankets. Mmm, blankets.

What I hate the most about this? I've frequently been getting home in the evening with literally not enough time to eat dinner before I go to bed. And my breakfast is highly variable. Which means I haven't started my Happy Pills yet, as my previous experiences with that breed of Happy Pills have taught me that having a regular meal schedule helps immensely with the nausea.

And, day by day, I'm becoming more painfully aware of how deeply depressed I am at the moment, and how much it's messing with my life.

Want Happy Pills.

I think I'll be able to start commuting by train again soon, which will put me back on a regular schedule, which will help a lot. Plus no getting up at 5:30 AM. No, I'll be able to leisurely sleep in until 6:30. *headdesk*

Now I'm just kind of rambling in the update window while I nom. Once have nommed (yay nomming!), will curl up in bed and rewatch Batman Begins. Because I wants Batman, and do not feel like hauling ass to the theater, and want to see the first again before seeing Dark Knight again, yaknow?

Tentative proposal of Dark Knight outing party this weekend. Since, FOR ONCE I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO. Except, y'know, writing stuff, because Andrea Stark needs to pwn Ty Stone six ways to Sunday, by popular request.

Mmm. Writing stuff. Want to. And want to work on website. But my brain's pretty much fried.

I think I lose a large chunk of brain cells each Blogathon. But there's a part of me already looking forward to next year. When I'll, y'know, sign up more than a week in advance. And try to have something that will be finished within the scope of the day, one Big Damn Fic like in '07. (Because I liked what I did this year, but, yaknow? Closure is nice. Even if it's punch-in-the-gut character death closure that makes little fangirls cry. Especially if it's that.) And I have two year's worth of data going for me that, yes, I can do this, and, yes, I can write about 9-10k words of pretty darn good fic while doing it. Twice I've done this.

It's good feeling like I can count on myself, y'know? Even if it's only in the miscellaneous little ways like that.

I also realized, in conversation with [livejournal.com profile] jennifer, why I was leaning away from the idea of just doing prompts all Blogathon: whiplash. Fandom whiplash, mood whiplash. Much easier to just do one thing all the way through.

Though I did like having five characters to write about (well, okay, more like through, as usual the bug-folks got the short end of the stick, and I feel guilty about that) rather than two. That gave some nice variety.

I now to Batman.

Date: Jul. 31st, 2008 01:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] triedandwired.livejournal.com
I totally understand coming home in the evening and just not having time or energy to do anything at all. I mean, I wake up at 630 am and get home at 6 pm and it SUCKS. I love my job very much, but all those hours, plus living with my mother is MISERY, so yea, I get depression. It's awful. But I do not take anti depressants. I really need to get the fuck shit out of this house, but have happy pills worked for you in the past? Why are you off them? Do you just need time to see the doc to get more?

Either way, I hope you find relief in some form soon! And congrats on blogathon! Wooo!

Date: Jul. 31st, 2008 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wired-lizard.livejournal.com
I was off them for many months because I was homeless, unemployed, broke, had no insurance, and had concentrated depression-cure in the form of an awesome boyfriend. By the time I'd gotten money and insurance, he'd dumped me. So, well, happy pill time.

I was on Lexapro, which had worked wonderfully (a doctor was giving me free samples) and was easy on the side effects. I have Celexa on hand, which apparently is about the same thing with more side effects (but cheap; Lexapro is recent and freakin' expensive). So the more side effects thing makes me nervous. Probably in the next few days, I'll start taking the train, get back to a semi-decent schedule (more like yours; I've had days recently where it's been, like, up at 5:30 am and home at 8 pm), and try to stabilize my meals. Because the nausea for the first week is probably going to be some serious WTF, and regular fooding helps.

You--yes you do. Where are you, region-wise? I hope you find relief soon too. And thank you!

Date: Jul. 31st, 2008 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] triedandwired.livejournal.com
I think it's wise you work on:
a.) getting back on some meds soon - give yourself time to adjust to them because there is ALWAYS a shaky adjustment period.
b.) alter and regulate your transport/work schedule to be more stable and reasonable
c.) start eating at regular times of the day and in even amounts - make sure to eat lots of protein and calcium rich products to keep your energy up.

I really hope things become better and more stable for you soon, cuz goodness you have had your shares of downs.

I am currently in PA and will be for... the foreseeable future until I either become stable enough in work and money to move back to paradise (Vermont) or win the lottery to do the same.

Date: Jul. 31st, 2008 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miraba.livejournal.com
What do you like to eat for breakfast? There are things you can do if you don't have enough time to sit down and eat bowl of cereal. Buying muffins etc and putting them in the fridge/freezer works. Yogurt drinks are also good. Bananas are very portable fruits.

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