Blah.

[letterblade]

I hate writing papers, even on subjects I'm interested in, because I suck at academic prose and I hate doing things I suck at because I'm spoiled by the things I'm good at. I hate feeling like my classes are going down the tubes. I hate having to do massive amounts of work through many faults of my own. I hate having to research such a difficult subject to find anything coherent on (hypnagogic visions) in such a short span of time to present in my sucky paper to the whole class. I hate having to miss one class to get the paper ready for another simply because I'm a chronic procrastinator. I hate the fact that I'll get no break tomorrow because of all the voice stuff, and no break in the evenings due to a massive 3D project that I've barely started. I hate the fact that registration is Wednesday and I only know what I'm doing for 6 out of 16 credits. I hate the fact that I probably have no chance of getting a writing tutorial because I haven't gotten in touch with the teacher. I hate the fact that I don't have the self-motivation to get a hell-week worth of work done, and so may marginally pass a class or two, and I hate the fact that I (and my parents) am perfectionist enough that that will really hurt.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that I get to post smut tonight, because I'll finally have the time to pull the next scene together.

My life is my art--my writing, and sometimes my music. I am such a bohemian little brat. Pretentious, too. Oh well. Some people still love me. Maybe they'll even feed me someday.