[pre]porn w/o plot

Or canon reference. Or much of anything except throwing three characters in a room together and seeing what happens. No particular spoilers for Utopia/Sound of Drums other than a particular character's existence. I don't normally write outside of canon, but I needed to get this out of my system, as the last few eps have been killing me with the kinky subtext.

The Jack in my head is quite insistent that this whole mess going on between his Doctor and Mr. Spoiler is clearly one big screwy love-hate psycho-ex thing, and has set himself on getting them to shag-and-get-it-over-with-already. (And I write to indulge him due to random insomnia.) And being Jack, if throwing himself into said shagging will help either party...

...why is this character insisting upon first person? Aiiii! Haven't done in ages!

( A Brief Lecture On the Appeal of Constants (aka Mr. Spoiler does kinky math porn) )